This is so beautiful Hun. Raw and honest! God loves you! And I’m so happy to see you do this.


So, first of all, basically I’ve been thinking of this blogging thing for at least the past two years now. Trust me, I know all about having dreams (multiple in my case) but never working towards achieving them. I mean, they’re just imaginary fascinations that, in the perfect world, would have been a reality. And sometimes we feel like that perfect world is almost impossible because we are bounded by all the things that are limiting us in our lives especially our very self. They say wishes do come true but in my world, the only wishes that have come true so far are the wishes to sleep and so far, they have never failed me yet because sleeping is what I do best. I’m sure like me, some of you out there could also relate. Sleeping is not only one’s enemy but it can prevent your dreams and goals…

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Have You Any Faith?

Heart of Genus

Faith is the substance of things hoped for. It is the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

In a time wherein so many people rely on intellect and rational thinking to govern their lives, it’s difficult to squeeze faith in. The vast majority of post-secondary educational programs actually refute the notion of faith and the existence of God. Faith has become such a taboo in our society and that has caused a blip in the faith community; particularly amongst millennials.

However, there are still many within the millennial generation who still have unshakable faith and cannot be swayed from their understanding of what God has done in their lives. It’s also widely understood, and felt by many, that a revival is here and that God is in the process of shaking this world. If you’re apart of this generation and you’re plugged in, then you know exactly what I’m…

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Hope is such a dangerous thing. You are constantly told in trying times not to lose hope, you are close to your breakthrough. These are the words I would boldly tell others who were going through a lot, and could not seem to keep their heads above water. I am now in such a deep and trying situation. Presently, I am realizing how annoying that phrase can be. It is very easy to say “oh don’t lose hope, things will get better” till you are actually in a deep dark pit yourself.

Honestly, I can say Hope is something I’ve always had. It’s what I have always clung onto when there was no form of rescue or change in sight. But in this current time, it’s so hard. I have little sessions in which I panic, and I remember the word of God and the declarations that have been made over me, and I start smiling again.

But now I am getting closer and closer to this problem. I feel like it is breathing heavily down my neck, and little panic sessions become full on panic attacks. And then they stop. And I’m smiling again. Sometimes I wonder if everything is okay upstairs. I say “one-minute you are crying, the next you are laughing is everything alright???” It’s like Ataisi don’t you recognize how serious this issue is, you shouldn’t be laughing or smiling. But that’s what hope does, because, in the midst of the craziness and confusion, it can still make me smile and provide this feeling of assurance that things will be fine.

The funny thing I find myself doing, is I begin to sing worship songs even when I’m not in the mood to. Recently, scratch that, over an hour ago, I was crying and I was somewhat angry. I’m saying to God “I know you have chosen this period to test me”, and I’m angrily folding my clothes. I avoid praying, although I said I would. I’m just asking God what exactly does He require of me and I want a clear and audible answer. Then I manage to just STOP. (Like that’s how it goes, cry, then just stop). And I start singing something like “I will worship Him”, and I’m wondering why worship songs, why not something else. I was singing lion king before I broke down, why not that? And I keep singing different songs, and they centered around one thing:

Exalting God and lifting Him high.

And the song, I have been singing lately is “Hosanna in the Highest, let my king be lifted high, Hosanna.” It’s like God is telling me, that I shouldn’t focus on the problem but on Him. Trust me it’s so hard to do, but that’s ALL I can do now. Instead of dodging Him and wallowing in ice cream and food, tv shows, or social media, all I can do is trust He has my back like He has in the past.

**sidenote: I listend to Tye Tribett’s Glow fest performance on Youtube, and God’s words to him were (I paraphrased): the enemy is our target but He is not the focus. The focus is that I (God) be lifted up. The focus is let God arise, and the enemies will scatter (Psalm 68:1). When we focus on the enemy, we begin to sink like Peter focussing on the storm (Matt 14:29-30). When we let God arise, sickness is scattered, poverty is scattered, all our issues are scattered. (Listening to this YT video right now just ministered to me, and I’m dancing again)

Moving on: Sometimes I just feel like I’m not worth God helping through this certain situation or situations  because I didn’t work too hard. But when have I ever been worth it or deserving? When has anyone ever been worth it or deserving of God’s mercy and favor? You may feel well I’m entitled to God’s blessing because of so so so and so, but not really, He does it our of mercy and love for us? Because you could never work for God’s love. God graciously gives (Romans 8:32).

I feel really happy now, it’s amazing. I thank God for always reaching out to me in certain ways.

Don’t let doubt ever settle in your mind, it is equally as dangerous. If you let it fester too long, it becomes this nasty mold that requires a lot to deal with and correct. In times of doubt, surround yourself with the word of God, just worship, and remember who He is to you.

One thing I always say to encourage myself is if God has preserved me for so long, He definitely has great plans for me. For His sake, I have an expected end, and He will prosper me all the way through (Jer 29:11). This stress ( because it’s not even worth called suffering) will only last a little while, and then Christ in His infinite mercy will “only perfect, stablish, strengthen, [and] settle,” me (1 Peter 5:10).



Worship is the only happy pill that actually works

Someone told me she liked my Tumblr name, “a bag of happy pills.” If only she knew the reason behind the name…

Often times we run towards different places, people or objects for happiness. Someone else told me they did not like drinking, but drank to deal with their issues. When I felt down in the past, I used to dance to soca music. A LOT!! And it helped me for a brief moment. I released enough endorphins and found an enjoyable way to keep fit.

However, there is something else that would not harm your liver or tire you out, but would help you find true joy. I’m talking about praise and worship. I have heard others testify about how worship or Gospel music just manages to lift their spirits. I could be so stressed because of everything I have to do. But when I spend time worshipping God, laughing and feeling overjoyed, I forget how ‘deep’ I thought my issue was.

Worship brings peace, reassurance, and reminds me of who God is. Reminds me of His power. Reminds me of His sovereign nature. Reminds me of His goodness and mercy in my life. And of course, reminds me of His love. Worship draws me closer to Christ; it’s like I can feel Him in the room; feel His warm embrace, just loving the pain away. In Amanda Cook’s song You Don’t Miss A Thing (Bethel Music), she says “when I misunderstand your love understands me.” With worship, despite the mess I am in, His arms are wide open to receive me. In the midst of the craziness of life, when we worship, we are like the disciples who ran into the lower deck and asked Jesus whether He cared if they perish. And when you worship and reach out to God with all your heart, he responds. And His response is “Peace. Be. Still” (Mark 4:38-39).

The disciples did not choose to cry and say their last prayers, they ran to the one who they knew had the power to stop what was happening. When you worship and praise God during the low moments, somewhere in your heart, you believe God is greater than your situation. He that is in you, is greater than He that is in the world (1 John 4:4). When you praise God during trials and tribulations, you are proclaiming this verse. And this is something God loves; when you are going through things that make no sense at all, and you choose to glorify His name, instead of complaining and being bitter inside. Trust me that drives the devil crazy. Because he wants you to get so frustrated and curse God, which was his intention with Job. But he failed woefully. So don’t let him succeed in your own case. Fight him with smiles on your face and a joyful song in your heart. Whatever you are going through, it is building you into a tougher person.

You will have your time in your desert, but you are not meant to remain there. A minister said this in my church. The Israelites may have been in the wilderness for 40 years (which was their fault), but they still came out. Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, didn’t He come out? Never feel your situation has a dead end, nothing has a dead end, so far God is living. So there is no dead end to your situation. It is a tunnel with an entrance and an exit. As you entered this tunnel, know you will come out on the other side. How long you stay in it, depends on you. You must be ready to fight and come out.

Some people feel after crying and pouring out to God, He does not respond to them. Honey if you went into worship with tears, and you came out with a smile on your face, and you felt lighter, God has answered your prayers. He has calmed your storm. It’s just left for you to believe and see it manifest. It is well with your soul. KEEP CALM AND PRAISE GOD.

Ps. you don’t need to sound like the angels to do praise and worship. It is the sincerity of your heart that matters. Psalm 100:4 said enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise. The statement is open to all His people (vs. 3), not just choristers and those who can sing. 

Stay blessed and love you.

We are playing games with God


It is 3:24 am over here, and I have not written a post in a while. But I just woke up from a nap, and I feel weird. I got a notification on my phone from a WhatsApp group, and the message was “My experience in Hell.” I avoided it because personally I do not like reading such, but I know in the end, the point of the story is to warn the saints, that the end (or their end) is near. But I still felt so weird, like the atmosphere in my room just feels off. I read it eventually; and basically, this girl got an abortion, before the procedure, she asked Jesus Christ to forgive her. She died in the process and descended straight into hell. While in hell, she could not stand the torment and begged God to forgive her, that she would declare the word to the world. Christ appeared and told her so many others have made the same request as she has, and left hell to make their experience known to the world, but yet no change. Eventually, Christ granted her request, and warned her if she did not preach, she would return to that same place.
First of all, we are not meant to die, go to hell, realize that we should preach Salvation to others and then beg for a second chance, that is why God has given you life in this very moment. You cannot depend on a second chance and the torment of hell before preaching the word of God. There was something a friend said during prayers earlier in the day,”The world is going mad” and it sure is. Sin is so normalized now; that it is even encouraged. People believe Jesus is a fairy tale, that religion is just a social institution controlling people. But God, heaven, and hell are very much real; and Christianity is so much more. I think what stood out to me in the Hell experience, was Christ told her “tell my people to stop playing games with me.”

Earlier in the day, I opened my bible to Joshua 7; and it discussed the sin of Achan. The Israelites were warned not to take Babylon’s silver and garment because God called it accursed, which is exactly what Achan did. Because of his actions, the Israelites lost in battle to the land of Ai. Imagine, because of one man’s mistake, God could not support His people in war, and had to turn away from them. When they found out what Achan did, they destroyed him and his entire family. And the thought that came to my mind was “We like playing games with God.” So reading that girl’s testimony was definitely a reminder to me.

I know I have disrespected God so many times, nonetheless because of His love and grace I am able to find my way into His presence. Because His son died on the cross, I know if I mess up and ask for forgiveness things will be well. God is a good father, but no, we like to disrespect Him. If Christ did not die on the cross, Lord knows I will not be here; I would be struck down the way Achan was, and so many of you would suffer the same fate. When God looks at us, He sees the blood of Christ upon us that speaketh better things than the blood of Abel (Heb 12:24); He chooses not to pour His wrath on us. But it will get to a point, that He and Christ will say “Enough is Enough.” Do not feel God does not get hurt by your actions, or you can do whatever you want, without any consequences. He is keeping a record of it all. Is it well with your soul? If you die this instant while looking at this line, do you think you will end up in heaven? Do not live life callously any longer, open your eyes to the way the enemy is deceiving you to remain complacent in your walk with Christ or your sin. Some of you have people depending on you for their salvation. And if you do not wake up, they will end up in hell, because you were not there for them.

A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. What are you waiting for? For Him to come down from the sky, and show Himself to you before you will wake up. Then, honey, you have no faith. Christianity requires trusting the things we cannot see (Hebrew 12). There are those who get that immediate change in their life, but there are those like me, who constantly have to chase after Him before He can reveal Himself to us; and the chase is more than worth it.

Please do not waste time any longer, some of you may not make until next month or the next morning, which is not my prayer for you. But do not feel you are indispensable, he can snuff the breath out of you this very second. Think long and hard about how you disrespect God and repent. Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand (Matthew 3:2).

It is my prayer that all of you reading this, do not miss the calling of Christ in your lives, Amen.


We’ve been set free so leave those shackles alone 

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

I have a habit of going back to my past sins. Sins that placed me in captivity. Jesus died on the cross and went through all the humiliation and suffering so we won’t have to go through it. He has set us free already, but we don’t realize that, and we go back to our sins, our filth. And it’s like the shackles that entrap us in these sins grow bigger and stronger making it even harder for us to break free from, and this is when excuses like ‘it’s so difficult to stop’ come up. But remember Christ already gave us salvation, we just need to tap into it. Whenever I think of falling back into sin, a bible verse that enters my head, are those who put their hand to the plow and look back, are not fit for the kingdom of God. But I’m so consumed by my flesh, that I look back anyways. And now I’m so aware of the spiritual aspect of ‘looking back.’ In this same bible, it says when a spirit is cast out, it roams the desert helplessly and runs back to it’s former home, just to find it well organized with no one else occupying it, and invites seven of its friends to join it. And we wonder why it becomes increasingly difficult to break some certain things off. But remember Christ has already bought our freedom, so don’t disrespect Him by wearing the ugly rags of your past. Walk in the splendour of His Holiness and let Him fill you. Enjoy this journey with God, it won’t be easy, but it is worth more than anything the world can give you.

God’s mercy endures forever 

“O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is good: because his mercy endureth for ever. Let Israel now say, that his mercy endureth for ever. Let the house of Aaron now say, that his mercy endureth for ever. Let them now that fear the Lord say, that his mercy endureth for ever.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭118:1-4‬ ‭KJV.

It endures forever. Forever is a long time, we continue to live and experience life because of 

God’s mercy. We continue to find favour in man and experience good fortune because of God’s mercy. We continue to sin and still expect to live till the next day like it was our right, because of God’s mercy. When you read the bible more and more some simple straightforward things begin to gather depth. I thank God everyday for his mercy and patience, but I don’t really get the magnitude of his mercy. The sort of heart He has I cannot understand. The fact that He has allowed us to thrive and continue to live for over two thousand years continuously committing sin and disrespecting him whenever we get the chance, and these are the Christians too, not just unbelievers. He has sat down on his throne and looked upon us and said we don’t deserve destruction (just yet), because of the strong love he has for us. So many of us, including I, do not deserve to be here, but being the MERCIFUL, PATIENT FORGIVING FATHER that he is, He has seen something in his fallen children that he wants to preserve. We are all alive today based on his grace, let’s not continue to take it for granted. Sit down and ask yourselves in what ways do I upset God? It could be the littlest thing as complaining when you don’t get your way, or even about someone else. Don’t let little things separate you from the love of God. Because as human beings there’s so much we can take, and we know what it’s like when someone hurts us (even when we may partly be at fault), so you can imagine how He feels, when all He wants to do is good for children, so that we can rejoin Him in paradise and all we do is upset Him all day long. 

You know when someone annoys and you just want to punish them, either by attacking them back or hitting them below the belt with some snide remarks. But nah God doesn’t do that, you may experience some things after you’ve sinned, but that’s not God punishing you but rather the expected outcome of your actions. But being the wonderful daddy He is, He has left the option of salvation and the Holy Spirit to you. He doesn’t restrict it from you, but gives it freely. 

No one wants people upset with them, so let’s not do the same with God. Pray for forgiveness of sin whenever you do sin, ask God and implore the Holy Spirit to help you overcome those sins holding you back, grudges, hate, lust, all of that. And also incorporate the fruits of the spirit into your lifestyle (Galatians 5:22-23). Learn to smile more, and show other people love, compassion and mercy, the same way your father has towards you. Let people see you as a beacon which draws them to God. Not reaching out to others is technically a sin, because you are disobeying God. So speak to others, be so good to others that they call you a mumu. Be a mumu for God, in the end it’s between you and your father anyways. Continue to do the right thing, no matter how painful it may be or how weak or silly you may appear, and let his mercy continue to be with you forever. Remember in Romans 8:28, it says all things work out for the good of those who love God, and that part is often quoted a lot, but the second part is and who have been called according to his purpose. It’s not just to expect good things cause you love God, but rather serving the purpose he has assigned to you. So yes, avoid sin, love others and touch them in ways Christ would, and you’ll see everything working for your good 😊